Arranged marriage matchmaker1/1/2024 Historically, marriage in which two people meet serendipitously and get hitched is very much the exception to the rule. From nobility on down to the lower classes, parents strategically fixed up their children in order to secure or expand property, reap wealth from bridal fees called dowries, continue blue bloodlines and, in families rich in daughters and short on cash, to alleviate the financial burden of having to feed and clothe women whom at the time couldn't strike it out on their own. Until the Enlightenment and the Industrial Revolution in the West, marriage was widely perceived as an economic tool rather than an amorous union. Set in the early 1900s, "Fiddler on the Roof" takes place during a time when marrying for love was still a relatively new phenomenon even outside of cloistered religious communities. Cultural tradition would have dictated that a local matchmaker named Yenta find a prospective husband for Tzeitel, rather than allowing fate - and sexual chemistry - to take its course. Among the popular show tunes included in the production, the wistful "Matchmaker, Matchmaker" features a girl named Tzeitel pining for a handsome, romantic suitor, rather than a dispassionate arrangement. That year, the musical "Fiddler on the Roof" debuted on Broadway, scoring nine Tony Awards and being adapted into a 1971 Academy Award-winning film. In Orthodox Jewish communities, matchmakers have paired up couples for centuries, but their niche profession entered into the American pop culture lexicon in 1964. That you, the woman must be willing to adjust, especially with the man’s family, no matter how insane their demands might be.The popular musical "Fiddler on the Roof" helped usher Jewish matchmakers into pop culture. ![]() ![]() It sounds horrific when the ‘liberal’ Geeta says marriage is a compromise, but unfortunately that is the definition of marriage that many girls are taught from an early age. And the majority still don’t get to choose. Caste, colour, class all remain crucial factors when marriage is decided in India. Of course, we know this is far from the truth. That perhaps it was easier when parents chose. A freedom that perhaps our parents’ generation did not have. At one point in the show, Taparia says kids have all the freedom in India to choose now, she’s also expressing a regret that in fact there’s too much freedom. Overall, Indian matchmaking is yet another reminder that when it comes to arranged marriages, preferences are really a sham. He is also looking for someone who is exactly like his mom.ĪLSO READ | Indian Matchmaking: An 8-episode of misguided gender politics, ultimately a betrayal for Indian audiences At one point in the show, while meeting with a potential match, he whines about who will look after the kids and the house if the woman is working. The potential girls all have to be slim, trim and smart and good-looking, because of course men shouldn’t expect to compromise on their choices.Īnd there’s Akshay, Preety’s son, who also keeps rejecting potential matches. While he has rejected 100’s of girls that Sima ji has so dedicatedly found for him, she sees no need to label him as negative. ![]() There’s Pradhyuman who is thirty (mind you reaching that age has not made him any less viable). There’s no negativity even though two of Sima’s male clients keep on rejecting potential matches. In contrast, for the men, it seems like the options are limitless. Pradhyuman in a scene from Indian Matchmaking. And it looks like she will have quite a few of those once she does find bahu number two. ![]() She wants a bahu who is ‘flexible’, which is a code for someone who will be willing to follow her rules. That’s Preeti Aunty, who embodies the definition of a mother-in-law straight from an Indian soap-opera. Thankfully, Ankita chooses to stick with her business and career.įinally, there’s one more character who stands out. Geeta tells Ankita in a cavalier tone that marriage is a compromise. The reason Sima ji gets Geeta to meet Ankita is because she’s supposedly the ‘more liberal’ one. She is made to meet another matchmaker Geeta. If one were keeping score, it would be modern dating algorithms 1, Sima Aunty- 0.ĪLSO READ | Indian Matchmaking: Why I have finally decided to go for arranged marriageĪnkita from Delhi is another client of Sima, one who has successfully set up her own business and is doing well financially and doesn’t want someone from a traditional family. Thankfully, she finds someone on her own, thanks to a dating app. She too is reminded that her options in arranged matchmaking are limited because of the above two conditions. Then there’s Rupam, who is divorced and has a daughter.
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